Warning: So, this chapter starts right off with a very graphic m/m sex scene. I am warning you, it is extremely mature. DO NOT proceed if detailed sexual scenes make you uncomfortable or m/m sex scenes make you uncomfortable. For a more PG version, please click here. Otherwise, proceed…oh and there’s mature language.
Riley pressed his body down on top of Tony’s and just spent a few minutes kissing him. He nibbled on his lip ring and smiled when Tony moaned and opened his mouth to allow a deeper kiss. He was so glad to be home.
Tony had been throwing him concerned looks since they’d walked in the front door. But how was he supposed to explain to him that his family had disowned him? When Tony asked him why, what would he say? “Well, my mother is still bitter about your parents and freaked when I told her I wanted to be with you?” He could just see Tony taking that to mean that there was something wrong with him, when the truth was that there was something wrong with Layla.
He felt Tony’s hand trace a path down his spine to his ass before gripping it and pushing down. A low, throaty laugh escaped Riley’s mouth. “We are so impatient all of a sudden.”
“Riley…please,” Tony softly begged.
“What do you want baby?” Riley pushed down a little more, grinding his lower body into Tony’s. They’d been in this same position so many times before but he hadn’t wanted to go further, not in the home of Tony’s parents. It had felt like the wrong place and time. For six weeks, he’d tortured both of them. But now…He kissed along Tony’s jaw…now there was no reason to stop.
“Please…” Tony begged again and Riley was done with the teasing. He sat up and as a dazed Tony watched him, he quickly stripped the rest of his clothing off. Turning back, he snagged the top of Tony’s boxers and tugged. Tony lifted his hips, eager to help and in less than a minute Riley was back on top of him. He shuddered at the feeling of bare skin against bare skin.
Riley lifted up a little and looked down the length of their bodies. He moved his hips a bit to the right, bumping up against Tony. His eyes shuttered as he felt the friction and the heat of Tony brushing up against him. His head fell forward and his eyes narrowed as he watched Tony remove one hand from where it was gripping his ass and start to reach down. Riley held his breath and waited, but Tony stopped halfway there.
“No, touch me.” He grabbed Tony’s hand and brought it down the rest of the way. When their hands made contact with his erection, he shuddered again, almost collapsing as the arm holding his body up shook. “That feels so good baby.”
Riley sat up and kissed Anthony again. He started to pump into their clasped hands but paused when Tony whimpered, his body writhing. He traced Tony’s full lower lip, groaning when Tony’s tongue darted out and licked his finger. “I’m being selfish aren’t I?” He teased.
Riley stopped guiding Tony’s hand and reached down, wrapping his hand around Tony’s own erection. “You are so big Tony. You are going to feel amazing.” Startled brown eyes met his. “What? You don’t want to?”
“I’ve never – I just…Franco didn’t like…” He frowned, a sad look crossing his face. “At least not with me.”
At the mention of Franco’s name, Riley’s canines descended and he felt the sudden urge to mark Tony. To create some physical proof that Tony was his and his alone. He swiped his tongue over them, urging them back up before he scared Tony – they had never discussed biting – and took a deep breath, trying to calm down.
Tony looked up at him in amazement. “Riley, your eyes.”
“I know baby. I know.” Fuck Franco and his fucking bullshit. He would hunt the bastard down and kill him. Riley closed his eyes and fought the instinct demanding that he bite down, that he prove Tony was his. Mine. “Shhh,” he said instead, “I definitely like and I definitely want it to be you. We can take turns.” He grinned down at Tony, teeth normal now, and squeezed him a bit tighter. His smile grew larger when Tony moaned, eyes closing at the pleasure.
“Please…” Tony leaned up and kissed him. “No more talking.”
Riley laughed, sat up and reached for the lube and some condoms from the top drawer of his bedside table. He squirted some into his hand, while Tony opened a condom. “My hands are kinda messy right now babe. Will you put it on me, please?”
Tony’s breathing became ragged and Riley got immense pleasure knowing that he was doing that to him. That it was his body that got Tony so riled up, his words that made Tony so hard. His best friend was always so serious; he was pleased that Tony liked the teasing.
When they were ready, he pushed Tony’s legs out and up, exposing Tony’s ass to his view. Fucking beautiful. “You know, I could just stare at you all day,” he teased again.
“Riley Cullen Sawyer! If you don’t hurry up…”
Riley laughed. “Yes baby.”
Then he was pushing in to the one place he’d dreamed of being. Tony was so tight and warm and so.fucking.perfect. He grabbed on to Tony’s thighs and held him still, pushing himself further in until he was buried inside Tony’s body. Then he paused, breathing heavily. Wow.
Riley let his hand slide over Tony’s thighs until he was back to squeezing his shaft. He was enjoying himself, eyes closed, feeling Tony contract around him. Then he felt Tony’s hands rubbing up his forearms. Smiling, he opened his eyes to look down at the man he’d been in love with for years. He started to move slowly out and then push back in. After a few strokes, he realized he wasn’t going to last very long, it was just too good. “Tony…”
“It’s okay. Please. You feel…”
Every time Riley pushed in, he gave Tony a squeeze. Soon though, he had to let go because his rhythm was getting all fucked up. Tony took over then. Riley leaned down and kissed him, mimicking with his tongue what his body was doing. He tugged on the lip ring gently, liking the hard metallic taste. He loved everything about Tony.
“Riley…” Tony cried out.
“That’s right baby. Come for me. Show me how much you like my fucking.” He leaned back so he could spread Tony’s legs wider, get in deeper and watch while Tony touched himself.
When Tony came, he bucked off the bed, slamming his hips up while Riley’s came down. Riley came suddenly, shouting out Tony’s name. He watched Tony climax; even in this, Tony was beautiful. He waited for his own body to stop, for the jerking to end, but it didn’t.
After a couple of minutes, he was still climaxing. Arms and legs suddenly weak, he collapsed on top of Tony. “I’m sorry Tony, I don’t know why…” he whispered, face buried against Tony’s shoulder. His canines extended again and he groaned, the urge to bite into Tony’s flesh almost too much.
“Shhh, it’s okay.” Tony wrapped his arms and legs around Riley and just held him. Riley relaxed and stopped fighting. Tony had him, he was safe. “It’s okay, Riley.”
Finally, after an eternity, his heart rate had calmed down and his body was still. Riley pulled out slowly, disentangling himself from Tony, feeling a sense of loss before reminding himself they would do this again. And soon – maybe even tonight. Grinning, he threw away the used condom and gave Tony a kiss.
“You’re fucking amazing,” he said hoarsely. He took a minute to gather his strength. “Let me get something to clean you up.”
Even though he was exhausted, he got up and walked to the bathroom. After quickly cleaning himself up, he wet the towel again and came back to bed. Lying down quietly, he studied Tony’s body. He was pale and a bit thin but toned. His lover was beautiful.
“Why are you just lying there, grinning?” Tony asked, suddenly looking shy.
“Just feeling a moment of pride over my lover’s body.” He gave a long-suffering sigh. “Aside from your paleness – which we will fix this summer – you are perfect. I’m a little jealous actually.”
Tony smiled and reached for him, but Riley pushed his hands away. “Let’s get you cleaned up first.”
He took his time, taking the opportunity to learn Tony’s body. It didn’t take long before he noticed that someone was ready for round two. He raised an eyebrow and laughed when Tony blushed. Riley pulled him into a hug, kissing him softly. “And here I was just lamenting that all this was going to waste.”
Tony’s eyes went huge. “Riley…”
Riley’s own eyes narrowed slightly before he smoothed out his features. He reached down and lazily stroked Tony. Had he never…? “Would you like that, lover mine?”
With shuttered eyes and a cute blush, Tony said softly, “Yes.”
Riley started to scoot down the bed, energized once again. This was going to be fun.
“Hmm?” Tony was making figure eight patterns on Riley’s stomach and it was driving him insane. Tony’s hands on his body was both soothing and arousing all at once. Riley turned his head towards Tony’s voice, but didn’t open his eyes; he was too exhausted.
“Have you been with many men?”
Riley chuckled. “Is this really the conversation you want to have right now?”
“I guess not, sorry.”
Groaning, Riley opened his eyes and looked down at Tony; it was too early for this. The sun was barely up! “Go ahead babe. Ask me your questions.”
“When did you realize you like guys?”
Riley shifted and settled more comfortably, wide-awake now. This was clearly going to be a long conversation. “When I was fifteen. At first it was very confusing, I liked girls but there was this one guy,” he reached down to stroke Tony’s hair and smiled, “that I just couldn’t stop watching and fantasizing about.”
Tony smiled sadly, “So you like both men and women?”
Riley rubbed a hand over Tony’s shoulders, noticing the sudden tension. Uh oh. He answered cautiously, “I find both attractive, yes.”
Tony tried subtly to pull away but Riley held him close, unwilling to lose his warmth and weight. He’d had fantasies of them lying in bed like this, talking and touching freely. Tony stopped struggling and seemed to shrink into himself instead. He stopped rubbing Riley’s belly and wouldn’t look up at him anymore.
As Riley watched, Tony’s skin began to take on a tint. Damn it, he was changing again. Riley had noticed that Tony only changed when he became extremely agitated. Once with Franco at the club, again when he’d had trouble with his dad’s blood samples and now. “Tony, look at me!”
He didn’t even realize…“Anthony, whatever has you so stressed out, we will deal with it. But you are changing again. You need to calm down, okay?”
Tony glanced down at his body in alarm. “This can’t be happening right now! I’m so sorry Riley.”
He started to get up, but Riley stopped him. “No, don’t move. Just take a deep breath. In. Out.” They lay there, Tony half turned, Riley half panicked, and they just breathed. In and out. After five minutes, Tony’s skin became skin again and Riley sighed in relief. They had to figure out how to stop this. But first he needed to figure out the cause for this episode. “What’s wrong babe?”
Riley snorted but said nothing.
Sighing, Tony said, “I knew you liked girls; you dated plenty in high school. I just didn’t realize you still did.”
Riley frowned. This was about his past relationships? “It’s not…it’s more complicated than that Tony.”
“I don’t like women, Riley.” Tony said slowly, softly. “I never will. If that’s a problem for you then let me know now.”
Riley finally let Tony go and leaned up on his elbows. Tony watched him, anxiety in every line of his body. What was he so scared of? Smiling, trying to look as calm as possible, he said, “You gotta help me out here Tony. I don’t think I understand.”
Tony fiddled with a loose thread on the bed sheet. “It’s just, how do you know that one day you won’t get bored with men – with me, and decide you want a woman? I mean, what if you want kids or something. I can’t…”
Riley watched as Tony started to blush, “What?” he asked, his smile growing wider. He didn’t so much find the conversation funny, it was the same the argument his mother had made. She wanted grandchildren, but Riley had already thought about it and he’d made his decision. He wanted Tony. He was smiling because Tony was just so damn cute when he blushed.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t assume that you’d want to start a family with me. We aren’t even…” He trailed off, his face practically red now.
“I think it’s safe to make that assumption. I want to be with you. Only you. No other men, no women. Just you.” He tilted Tony’s head up so they were eye to eye. “Okay?”
He saw the doubt flicker then fade from Tony’s eyes. “Okay.”
A few hours later, he and Riley had showered, dressed and eaten, but had made no moves to leave the house. Instead, they cuddled together watching television in Riley’s living room. Tony had to admit it was nice not having plans for a change. He’d had to borrow one of Riley’s shirts and it was a little loose around the shoulders and arms. He never realized how broad Riley’s upper body was until now. He liked wearing the shirt. He liked being held by Riley. It made him feel safe. Stable.
“You know, you never answered my question.” Tony rested against Riley on the couch staring at the fashion magazines on the coffee table. It was a very feminine touch. Had he been serious with a woman recently? Tony had noticed several things that clashed with Riley’s personality – at least the Riley he’d grown up with. But if he’d been with a woman, then it made sense that there would be softer accents in his home.
He felt Riley lazily stroking his hair. “What question babe?”
“How many people have you been with?” He knew it was an embarrassing thing to ask, maybe even rude, but he wanted to know. Riley seemed so comfortable with who he was and what he wanted. Tony had only been with Franco – and now Riley. He needed to know.
“Including high school?”
“Six women, three men.” He laughed. “Don’t think too poorly of me Tony.”
Although he was laughing, Tony knew that Riley was embarrassed. Three men? “So you like women more?”
Riley sighed and said, “No Tony. It was just easier not to compare the women to you.”
Tony sat up and stared at him. “What do you mean?”
Scrubbing the side of his face, Riley leaned forward and said, “I have been attracted to you since we were in high school. I dated girls, I liked girls, but I wanted you. It drove me nuts. When you left to come here, I was a bit lost without my best friend. I went to APU the next year, tried to date – epic fail by the way – and mostly focused on school. I was trying to get up the nerve to tell you how I felt the night you met Franco. Things just went downhill from there. I told myself that you were never a possibility anyway. We were just friends, you saw me as your brother. I dated a couple of people, mostly because they were there and they reminded me of you in some way. But, they weren’t you.”
Tony sat stunned. He’d had no idea that Riley felt this way and honestly, he had thought of Riley as family up until a few months ago.
“Say something. I just bared my heart to you.” Riley laughed again. He laughed when he was anxious, always had.
“I don’t know what to say.” Tony began, “I don’t…I’m not…”
“It’s okay babe, don’t worry about it.” Riley cut him off, his smile dimming a little and Tony felt like he’d just ruined a perfectly good day. He rubbed at his chest and looked away. What was he supposed to say? “You know what? I promised that I would do something about the pallor you’ve been sporting lately. Let’s go to the beach.”
“But it’s April!” Tony protested.
“So? I’ll keep you warm.”
Riley stood up and held a hand out to help Tony to his feet, kissing him as he rose. Tony leaned in, wishing he could say all the things that were running through his head, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He’d done that once before and he’d been hurt. This time…this time it would be different. He would make sure that Riley wanted this; wanted him, before he put his heart out there again.
He was tired. He’d been working on that stupid nanite machine all morning. Two years ago, when he’d first learned that Tony wanted to create a sentient robot, he’d thought it was cool. Until he’d found out why. Tony wanted something perfect and loving, the ultimate machine. Riley had started calling it the PLUMbot.
He didn’t know who he was pissed off at more, Tony for still working on the thing even though he had a perfectly loving human as his partner now, or fucking Franco for hurting Tony so badly that he’d decided a robot was better than putting himself out there again.
Franco. That fucking asshole, Franco. Would they ever have a moment when that piece of shit wasn’t in their lives?
He worked on the breathing exercises that Caleb had taught him and got angrier. He required breathing exercises now. His wolf was so lost without a pack that his temper, moderate even at the worst of times, would now flare up at the littlest trigger. Like now. Breathe in. Fucking robot. Breathe out. Fucking Franco. Breathe in…
“Riley?” Tony sat down next to him, sounding worried. When he didn’t say anything, just kept breathing, Tony tried again, “Riley, what’s wrong?”
Tony reached out to touch him and Riley growled, warning him off. If Tony touched him now, he’d lose it completely. “Not now, baby.” Breathe out. “I need a minute.” Breathe in…
Tony nodded and waited patiently by his side.
After a few minutes, Riley felt calmer. He really couldn’t keep doing this. There had to be a better way. “I’m sor -”
“Riley, I -”
They stopped and stared at each other. Shaking his head, he said, “Go ahead, you first.”
“I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry. About the PLUMbot, I mean. I don’t need it anymore, you know that, right? It’s just – I want to finish at least one of my projects.”
Riley smiled a little. Well, there was that. Tony had yet to finish a single thing he’d started in the last two years – except for the hoverboard that they made for Alistair’s birthday last year. He could understand that, accept that. He smiled wider. “Okay. Thank you for sitting with me. I’m not usually this volatile.”
Tony gave him a light punch on his shoulder. “You have been a jerk lately. What happened to our daily lunches? Did your kitchen burn down?”
Laughing, Riley said, “You want me to order a pizza?”
Tony shook his head and stood up. “No. I think I want to eat outside today. Come with me?” He held his hand out, waiting for Riley to grab it.
Riley stared at Tony for a minute, noting the changes in his personality, even in his attire. He was smiling, wearing a green shirt underneath his black jacket, jeans and boots. The dark makeup was still there, but Riley thought it was sexy, so that was okay. His best friend seemed happier, like the old Tony used to be, maybe even a little bit more so. He grabbed the offered hand and hoisted himself up. “You think we’ll get in trouble if we sit with our feet in the pool?”
“Riley, I am King of the Lab. I can do whatever I want!”
Riley laughed again. God, he loved this man. He pulled Tony in for a kiss and said, “Yes, Your Highness.”
A/N: The lab looks completely different. The talented and awesome EMPRESSPAMELA built it for me! It’s appropriately called uGenex. Umm, as for the chapter itself…yeah. I told you. It was much worse when I wrote the first draft and I toned it down and then toned it down some more but soon realized there was only so much I could do. I don’t know if I’ll ever get this graphic again…As always, let me know your thoughts. – T.
20 thoughts on “Chapter 8: Ego”
Not too graphic for me, but maybe too graphic for some. I like that you offered another version, though to be honest, I didn’t even go there. Your writing always hooks me. After a bit of orientation, I’m sucked into their lives, enjoying the story.
I am glad that Riley and Tony are talking to each other about their feelings even though they are each still hiding an important part of themselves. When they share their inner most fears and worries, then they will have evolved to the best place possible despite what happens.
Thank you for sharing their story with us.
Thanks ciane! Just to give you an idea of how long I’ve been working on this, I wrote this at the same time as I was writing the chapter where Riley comes back and starts working for Tony (Chapter 3, I think). I wrote this right after I lost all those pages of text and was so upset. lol
Thank you for those kinds words, I’m blushing (which is hard to do)! The other version is really just the sex scenes cut out. I didn’t try too hard lol. Although I had to talk about the biting part since that is significant to the story, so some slight tweaks.
Riley is very open with Tony and he feels like he’s done a great job expressing himself. Most people would assume that the person they are with is committed to them if they were in Tony’s shoes. But Tony took Franco’s love for granted and was wrong. He needs to hear the words. Riley doesn’t know that and so he just thinks Tony doesn’t feel the same way. He also doesn’t want to hurt Tony by telling him about his exile. Telling someone you chose them over your entire pack is a big deal and Riley doesn’t want to scare Tony away or make him feel guilty. But Riley isn’t really the suffer quietly type. He made his decision and he’s happy with it.
TONY, on the other hand, never complains and never makes a fuss. He wants to tell Riley, badly, but he doesn’t want to get hurt. He knows he won’t survive something like that again. He’s Rae’s child, after all. He needs very obvious, flashing signals. Nothing else will do. There is a lot going on with Tony that he’s internalized so much, he doesn’t even question his motives anymore, which is why it’s so hard to get into his head. He doesn’t even think about his reasons, he just does whatever he’s been conditioned to do.
Him not getting upset that Riley needed a minute is huge. If that had been Franco, he would have spent the entire time wondering if he’d done something wrong. Joking about Riley being a jerk and not making him lunch anymore? HUGE improvement.
You have to be true to yourself and what your soul want’s to write. It was a beautiful love scene. It was very nice of you to provide a second version though 🙂 Love these boys!
Thank you Adriana! I love them too. ugh!!! And like I told ciane, really all I did was cut the sex scenes. It did force me to add that ending part though, because I felt the edited version was too short.
Well, I’m glad the boys got together! It truly is about time! As much as I was bothered by the content (just a tiny bit), I still read this chapter because I love your story. 🙂 Please don’t feel offended at all by it as you are amazing!! 🙂
Thank you for reading! I must admit that I was a little nervous about this chapter but I’m glad you stuck it out. I really do feel that it’s a very important turn in their relationship, for so many reasons.
Although they both have had lovers in the past, this experience is completely new and different for both of them in so many ways.
Hey! I liked your chapter, no worries from me. 🙂
Ooh, Tony is starting to look a little more like he was before Franco fucked up his stuff, that’s a good sign. It probably helped a lot that Riley told Tony about how he had always felt towards him. T_T Tony seriously wanted to build a sentient robot to cure his loneliness? OMG, that’s so sad, 😦
He’s better now though, yay. Hahaha, I’m happy he told Riley it was just because he wanted to complete the project. XD I hope Riley feels better and thinks about the Plumbot as just one of Tony’s projects now, rather than what it started out as.
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Yes, Tony is getting back to normal! (I mean, normal for him.) Riley is so in love that he’d literally give his heart to Tony if asked. There’s a werewolf couple that doesn’t mind some licking. (Sorry, I’m so sorry! lol)
The robot thing…I was so sad when I thought of that. I think his fear of rejection has always been there but Franco just kicked it up to like 1000%!
Riley was very grateful that Tony noticed he was having a hard time with the Robot thing. Tony is usually pretty clueless about all things not related to work, and so for him to pick up on the fact that Riley was hurt and angry is a big deal! Even in chapter one, when his own twin was trying to explain how he felt Tony was becoming distant, Tony didn’t really geti it. That fact that he did in this chapter and without anyone having to tell him…My little boy is all grown up! ::bawling::
Tony really just wants to finish something! LOL
And no worries from me of course! I remember talking to you when you were worried about this chapter and thought it would be to graphic. I’m happy you decided to be true to your characters and go with it. 🙂
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Thank you! I remember talking to you about it too and freaking out! I’m so appreciative for your support, you have no idea!
It was cute. It made sense. I understand the hesitance – I try to keep all the really graphic stuff in my side-stories for those same reasons, but I don’t think you have anything to be worried or embarrassed of here.
Its a part of life, and frankly it’s important. Tony is – in his own words – damaged goods and it’s a really important part of understanding their relationship. Especially knowing the difficulties that Connor and Caleb have gone through in that area, and knowing that Riley doesn’t have a pack to help temper his wolf…
I wonder if there’s anything that can be done to sort-of right what is wrong between him and his family, if his mother can go back on it. I don’t think she would, but I imagine it’s hurting Riley’s siblings and father to know that their pack member is suffering…
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Oy! (I try not to re-read this chapter if I can help it…) It was really important to me share this though because a large part of the healing that Tony has to go through will happen during the intimate moments between him and Riley.
He is a brilliant scientist, he has friends and family that care about him and that he cares about.
It is his personal life, his belief in his self-worth that needs to be fixed and that means almost constant reassurance from Riley. But it also means finding ways to be emotionally strong.
Riley’s job now is to prove to Tony that his wants and needs are valid and that he will be there for Tony, no matter what. There is so much Tony has never experienced because Franco denied it to him. He’s always been a bottom, their were demands and expectations about his sexual abilities that caused pain because Franco would berate him or ridicule him for his inexperience. There is a lot that Tony doesn’t feel comfortable asking for because he’s afraid that Riley will reject him like Franco did.
And no matter how often Riley tells him something, actions speak louder than words.
They will fight and their will be misunderstandings and each time that happens, a part of Tony will retreat back to those two years with Franco. He can’t help it, it’s all he knows.
(And I will stop right there. These two bring out ALL the feels for me.)
Riley makes Tony a good partner and I guess I didn’t realize that Riley had been with other men before Tony until I read this chapter. Must have missed something in the previous chapters. He’s going to need patience with Tony because Tony is so closed off emotionally. At least Tony is getting better and seeing when something is bothering Riley now. I wish that Riley had told him how he felt the night Tony met Franco. Things could have been so different for both of them.
Before that night, Riley had never been with another man. I think he always just assumed that things would work out. And he wanted to tell Tony, he was trying to build up the courage to do so. Tony can be very abrupt sometimes and he hurts people’s feelings without meaning to.
After Tony met Franco, Riley dated other people, mostly to try to forget about Tony. He thinks both men and women are attractive but he’s attracted to Tony.
I’m doing a very poor job of explaining this without getting into food metaphors lol.
There is definitely Rae in Tony, but I see Riley bringing out the best in him. It’s good to see him healing. It’ll have to come to a head soon, though, Franco hurt him badly – but Riley is not Franco…years of therapy and selfwork wouldn’t make that jerk half the partner Riley is without trying. It would be satisfying to see Riley maul him…but I would be over the moon to see Anthony stand up for himself and tell Franco just how disgusting a human being he is.
Oh Franco… There is definitely a lot of Rae in Tony. But he’s much more open to change than she was.
Anthony would like that too.
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So as I’m scrolling through and I’m on my phone I think I accidentally randomly clicked like on comments since my phone is being slow at loading. I understand the heaitation in sharing graphic content. It was nice you offered another option. I thought it was still a well written chapter. Franco really screwed over Tony, didn’t he? I’m glad Riley is sweet with him and caring. He needs that.
He definitely needs it! Franco is a piece of work, for sure. And since he was Tony’s first everything, the emotional damage is pretty deep.
Thank you for reading and commenting livinasimminlife! Sorry for the ridiculously late reply!!
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